Average people tend to blame other people and factors for all that they aren’t happy within their life. While that gives them a sense of comfort, it also leads to no progress but just complaining about their problems in life.
After taking a closer look at their lifestyle and mindset, though, it’s easy to spot the unhealthy behaviors and mental patterns they chose to develop over the years that are the main reason for their current level of success. These are the unproductive activities, lazy habits, making excuses instead of taking action, not eliminating unnecessary things from their life (even something as big as a relationship, but which has become toxic).
The good thing about this is that it reminds us we have control over it. We can analyze what’s stopping us from moving forward, remove it or minimize its influence, and then replace it with a better use of our time.
If you too are looking for a change and are tired of seeing no progress or want to somehow improve your relationships, then consider social media as the source of most of your problems. It’s your enemy. You might be showing signs of addition and allowing it to control what you think and do in daily life. Here’s how and what to do about it:
We’re using technology wrong
With a phone in your pocket you are exposed to information whenever you want. Mindlessly checking your feed gives you a sense of being informed. But is it really good?
Information overload can be dangerous. The way it influences our relationships in real life though is that it doesn’t allow us to focus on others enough. What we read about and watch in social media feels like we’re actually experiencing it in real life, and so when it’s time to date our partner, have an honest conversation with a friend, listen to our parents, or else, we simply don’t have the willpower to be mindful of that and enjoy it.
You can turn this around by opening your eyes for the negative impact of social media and all that information. And, instead, using it less often in order to have more time to spend with loved ones and friends.
Sharing things on social media is ruining special moments
Another negative thing that comes as a result of being a social media user is that you’re allowing the bad social media habits to get to the ‘me’ time you and your partner need.
There’s this wrong belief that any big event in our life, or even more expensive restaurant we visit, should be captured in some way and shared with the world.
Because of this, we stop living in the moment. We don’t get to be there for these memorable situations that are a big part of every relationship. I suggest you don’t even unlock your phone when you’re with your partner. And pictures shouldn’t be made with Instagram in mind, but for the purpose of capturing the feeling and then smiling every time you look at it.
Cheating is easier
Another big thing millennials and generation Z are pretty familiar with is the idea of online dating. With the rise of Tinder and all other dating apps, meeting a partner is a no-brainer. If you look good and are open to seeing new people from the opposite gender, you’re a few swipes away from having company this evening.
While that led to plenty of people meeting the love of their life and then getting married, it also became the reason for more cheating, taking dating less seriously, chatting and flirting with 10 people at once, or hooking up with someone while traveling.
Of course, if you’re in a healthy relationship and are giving and receiving, you won’t get to this. But the more time you spend on social media and the more you follow trends, the more comfortable you’ll become with the thought of being on such dating sites, having a profile and chatting with people. You might consider it innocent and not see where you cross the line. So watch out for using social networks for more than keeping in touch with friends.
Social media promotes conflict
Couples argue more often when both people in the relationship are frequent social media users.
To start with, 25% of married couples reported that they felt their other half was distracted by their phone when they were spending time together. Unless you are sexting with each other, but that’s a different case… Plenty of people get annoyed by how much time their partner is spending online, and a big enough percentage aren’t okay with what their loved one is doing when on the phone.
Think about this, maybe have a conversation with your partner and see if there’s something they aren’t happy with. Then, discuss a solution together to make sure everyone’s happy.