A fellow decides to take off early from work to go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2 a.m., at which time he is extremely intoxicated. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he had a couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. However, he is so drunk that he doesn’t realize he’s hurt himself.
via Mr. FurryPants / John Rensten
A few minutes later as he is undressing, he notices blood, so he checks himself out in the mirror, and sure enough, his behind is cut up something terrible. Well, he repairs the damage as best he can under the circumstances, and then he goes to bed.
The next morning, his head is hurting, and his rear is hurting, and he is hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife comes into the bedroom.
via WW News / Erin Patrice O’Brien
“Well, you really tied one on last night,” she says. “Where’d you go?”
“I worked late,” he explains, “and I stopped off for a couple of beers.”
“A couple of beers? That’s a laugh,” she replies. “You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?”
“What makes you so sure I got drunk last night?” he asks.
“Well,” she replies, “my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of Band-Aids stuck to the mirror.”
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